Sunday, October 09, 2011

The Pieces

 If you wait for all the pieces to come together and for you to know everything,  You will do NOTHING~ cha

I'm starting a talk show right now.  It is the dream of my heart.  The reason I feel I was born.  It's exciting, challenging and the learning curve is great.  I have to learn how to do every aspect of a show.  I find myself directing, producing, perfecting the voice over, editing, writing, set get the picture;EVERYTHING!  The challenge is that I am not an expert in any of these things.  It is so easy to sit back and think about doing something once I know it all and feel properly positioned to launch out.  I'm guilty of this very thing.  I didn't realize I was using it as an excuse to not start.  I really thought that I was just making sure I was properly prepared.  I didn't want to be a flash in the pan who gets derailed mid way or even at the beginning because I "didn't know".  The thing is, as I started trying to be prepared, I kept running into another thing that I did not know, and another, and before long I was scared crap-less and overwhelmed.  Then when I could stand it no longer because this dream that keeps me up at night and walks with me through my days kept demanding me to start, I started.  Just start, I heard it say.  Don't worry about the foreseen and unforeseen issues that may arise, just start.  And as I have started, things have come together.  I mean I have seen the pieces come together with such grace it feels like a well rehearsed play.  I could not have anticipated this.  I pictured big holes where I didn't know fully, but instead of holes I find the answer appears in many different magical ways.  I feel assisted on this journey. 

Today I made a mistake in the editing room.  I dropped some footage into the time line and it landed in a bit of an array.  I don't know what I did.  But when I played it back, the "mistake" was beautiful.  I mean, gorgeous.  It was the kind of "mistake" that I couldn't have planned or replicated.  It was the kind of "mistake" I needed.  It's these kinds of mistakes that show up once you start.  Whatever it is that's on the inside of you and is screaming to get it.  The pieces will come together as you start and walk it out.  I promise.  When Indiana Jones stepped out...the ground appeared.  The pieces came together~

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